How can I save myself and my children?

My family consisted of my mother siblings and myself. I am the youngest. We are not close and my mother and siblings thrives on chaos secrets and lies. My mother does not say I love you. She pushes you away when you try to hug her and clearly states who her favorate is. All my brothers are physically, verbally and emotionally abusive. My sisters and I have all been physically, verbally and emotionally abused and are pive and fearful to agressive and angry. I am the considered the weird one because I don't want to be apart of the craziness. I'm the only one that didn't really grow up with mom. She worked all the time. She would be gone mostly for 3 weeks at a time and sometimes she was gone for a month or two. We lived in a apartment building on the same floor as my grandmother. My grandmother treated me my sister and 2 brothers different because she did not like our fathers. She would give us old food or the burnt bread and cakes she made and treated us poorly. She treated her my oldest sister and her children lovingly. Giving her and her children what she cooked that day and what did not burn. Growing up I was told. Trust no one, keep no friends, don't tell about the bad stuff and if I had to talk. Tell them because family would keep it in the family. Which meant we would talk about you but that's okay. There was a lot of physical and verbal fights and anger. My family members compete with each other and believe a persons value is determined by how much he or she has. They talk about, use,cheat and lie about each other and I don't fit in because I don't join in. I'm the black sheep. Since I've known myself I was and still am told I'm worthless, stupid, should have been aborted, weird, ugly, a bi*ch, slut, waste of time, waste of money, a failure, a unfit mother, no man would ever want me, lazy, could not make it in life, a good for nothing, I'm not listened to and also told somethings wrong with me. (Just some of many labels.) (Note: my children are also told these things about me and themselves starting from a very early age.) After hearing this over and over I believed it I and my children believed it about ourselves and I did begin to tell it to myself. I was also d and molested at the age of 4 by my godbrother in my homeland. I was 5yrs old when I came to this country. I was then molested by my sister's husband from the age 9 to 21. I was a gifted student, my grades dropped. I began to cut cles because I could not focus. I would come home at 6pm to avoid my molester (my sisters husband). He lived on the first floor of our two family home and would pick me up after school. I spent every day in fear. He told me don't tell when I was 13. He said no one would believe me and they would blame me and they did. He was right they didn't believe me. I was told I asked for it. When I became pregnant at 15 the day my mother found out she beat me. Tearing off the pjs she brought me 5 months earlier when I was sick. Saying I was never really sick. (For several days I was unable to eat any kind food or drink anything not even water without throwing it up. When I was finally taken to the hospital I had severe pains in my side, couldn't walk and had a fever of 104. They were going to operate thinking it was appendicitis until the third doctor told my mother it was stress. She did nothing to help me. Around this time I had also attempted suicide for the 4th time by a over dose. My mom found me and she watched as one of my brothers punched me in the jaw. Then said she would turn my dead body over to the city to bury in a unmarked grave.) Later that day she tried to make me carry a 20" t.v. From one end of the house to the other knowing I am pregnant. She called all my friends parents telling them keep there daughters away from me because I'm a bad influence and a bi*ch. I was told I didn't deserve a room that night and had to sleep on the hallway floor. Before I feel asleep I over heard my oldest sister tell my mom, "when you take her to have the abortion don't let them give her any anesthesia so she can feel the pain." I suppose that was to be my punishment. I didn't know my mother was taking me to have a abortion the next day. I thought it was to see how far I was. Until I the doctor said I would have to have the abortion that day or I would have to go to the hospital. Thank God she didn't bring enough money. I ran away the next day. I did come back (There's so much more but not enough space.) I have four children now. Two of them were d and molested by family members. In the same house I was molested In. I still live in the same house. Each room has horrible memories attached. My children and I have lived many of the labels placed on us. I dream of having my own business infact we all do but we all are affraid to live in some way and don't love or trust ourselves. My children and I are a shell of who we can be. Our lives are a mess. Recently I started to see what is happening and I have to make it better. I'm not working and know I have to get my children out. My oldest son has become abusive like my brothers. My son also sold drugs, carries guns, drinks and smokes weed. I feel like I have been asleep all my life. We don't know who we are. The only thing I am 100% sure of is it hurts to much, to much has happened and we want better. It scares me to see my pain and fears in my children. I don't want to be quiet any more and I don't know what to do next.